Over the past few weeks, in order to get a handle on my anxiety that was spiraling out of control, I’ve been reading a lot of articles and listening to podcasts on self care. I’m realizing that rituals do a lot for me and help center me and calm me down. These rituals take a lot more time than my usual rush-through-everything-so-I-can-get-to-the-next -thing MO, but have been working because I’m sleeping better and I’m slowly becoming less anxious/angry about the chaos that I can’t control.

Every night, I’ve been taking a bath and doing a skin care routine (with steps!). To be honest, I’d gotten in the habit of taking a quick shower and washing my face but then either forgetting to put any moisturizer or just haphazardly slapping something on my skin but not really paying attention to anything beyond that. Now, I’m trying a new natural face wash, using masks twice a week, toner, and applying Korean snail cream and rose hip oil. My skin does feel so much better and taking the time to actually take care of myself in a physical way feels good too.

I am struggling with morning rituals, because my kids are such early risers and our mornings are fairly chaotic. In a perfect world, I would wake up before the kids, make coffee and breakfast and ease into the morning. My kids do not ease into the morning at all. Nolan never sleeps past 6:30, and Charlotte (who is supposed to stay in her bed until 7:00 but rarely follows that rule) is usually downstairs by then too. They are 100% full speed as soon as their feet hit the floor, and they are hungry. I could wake up at 5:00 but G’s nurse is still here, and both of us moving around would definitely wake Nolan up, whose room is right by the kitchen.

I am trying to remember to make up my bed, and pick clothes up off the floor, which really does help me feel less anxious throughout the day when I go into our room. And having everything ready to go the night before makes the mornings so much smoother as well.

I’ve also started the (bad?) habit of treating myself to Starbucks most mornings after I take the kids to preschool and am on my way to work. No, it’s not necessary, but I’m filing it under treating myself kindly and making the little alone time I have during the day as enjoyable as possible.

I know self-care is so important, but it’s hard to get past the feelings of guilt about taking time just for me. Ugh, why do I do this to myself? I know that in order to be the best mom, friend, wife, etc. I have to take care of myself- so I want to keep committing myself to habits and rituals that make that a reality.