I just got home from Ryan’s softball game- the girls won 12-0, moving to the third round of playoffs- Go Falcons!

There was a family in the stands with a 9 month old (I heard her say his age) and what looked like a 2 1/2 year old. The older child was acting like, well, a 2 1/2 year old. He was running up and down the ramp of the bleachers with boundless energy and making a lot of noise. His mom kept trying to get him to stop running and sit still. Stop it, stop it, she kept saying, exasperated.

I turned to Ryan’s friend, who had come to watch the game and said, If Grayson could do that, he could run and bang, and make as much noise as he wanted, for as long as he wanted. And I mean it. I wanted to tell that mom to be thankful for her healthy child, that he was doing exactly what he was supposed to be doing for his age. To let him use his legs to stomp on the metal bleachers- who cares how much noise he makes- we are at a softball game, not church. He’s healthy, and little- let him be.

Grayson’s daddy is a coach. As he gets older, we will hopefully be spending a lot of time in bleachers cheering his teams. And it probably won’t look at all like we had imagined. Grayson may never chase down a foul ball to throw back over the fence to the umpire. He may never get to run the bases after a game. He may never even eat a hotdog or sno-cone. The stuff of childhood, of being in a sports family, he may never do.

I’m sad about this tonight.


  1. Traci on May 4, 2012 at 3:37 am

    I wish I had the words to make you feel better. But I don't. So I'll just pray for you and G. Love you!

  2. A Proud Daddy on May 4, 2012 at 3:50 am

    Grayson Robert is running in his own way. I am a proud Daddy and I will shout to the world that I am a lucky man. Yes, he might not run but everytime he laughs,smiles at me, pulls on my head, and gives me kisses is what I cherish the most everyday. It might be sad that he is not doing this right now but he is running his own race. Just wait and see what amazing things our son will do in this world. I have an amazing wife you bust her butt everyday for our son and I can never repay you for being that type of mother who makes sacrifice and deals with it on a daily bases. We are blessed to see how far Grayson has come and how far will go. Sit back and watch greatness take place. God made Grayson perfect in his eyes and his image. He is our little blessing and God knows what Grayson is going to do. I love him more and more everyday.

  3. Christine Kalmbach on May 4, 2012 at 4:43 am

    Elizabeth: I had no idea what y'all have been through. I have read your whole blog tonight since 2010 and I am here to say that I am so sorry that your baby boy is not well. I admire y'all SO much for your grace and tenacity in raising G-man. I cannot even begin to give advice for what you face day in and day out and so I won't even try. You have helped me to remember to not take anything for granted and that we all have blessings we can be thankful for.I promise to pray for you all – Grayson's health and well being and you and your husband's challenges. Prayers for your genetic testing and family's future. I don't know what the future holds but I can tell you that God loves y'all so much AND He is with each of you. He will never leave you nor forsake you.

  4. Jillian Moller on May 4, 2012 at 12:51 pm

    Hey girl. Hugs. These are the days that are hard. But remember Holland is still AMAZING!Inch by inch…

  5. Coco on May 4, 2012 at 1:48 pm

    Okay, was that your husband? He is making me sob! So sweet!!! Anyway, I'm so sorry for all your struggles. And I second what your husband said about him running in different ways. What a beautiful insight. *hugs*

  6. bridget on May 4, 2012 at 2:17 pm

    Sad with you but also excited for the many ways God will use Grayson- his gifts, his challenges and his triumphs to "do immeasurably more than you can ask or imagine"!

  7. Becky on May 4, 2012 at 3:06 pm

    Seriously, your hubby made m cry at work. And I, too, think he's right. Grayson's running just looks different. I think parenthood is rarely what we expect; it usually looks different. There is certainly grief associated with it and we need to sit through and process that grief. There are also – as I know you alredy know – blessings that come with God's plan (as opposed to our plan). And Holland doubtlessly is amazing.

  8. Lee, Michelle, Cooper 4 and Allie 3 on May 4, 2012 at 3:30 pm

    I hope this is helpful and not offensive …Almost anybody can have a "normal kid". They are a dime a dozen. Right?I believe God spends extra effort and time creating and molding special needs kids. Man, they teach me so much. What if that really was God's inside joke …. those who are fortunate enough to have a special needs kid are the ones who are doubly blessed with having to realize, live it and apply what is truly important in this life. When the world hopes for just a healthy baby and the world pity's the parents of special needs kids … God is laughing and saying, "No you stupid people, it's the special needs kids who you should be desiring – don't you get it!!!"With God everything is backwards to what our natural selves crave. Right?Sitting here in the hospital with Cody for another week for the second time in less than a month I am trying to think this way and soak it all up. I hope my Cody grows up to be like your Greyson, not my Cooper.Love you strong girl, Love the heart of your big man, Love your little man and what God has poured into him –

  9. Erin on May 4, 2012 at 6:51 pm

    Sorry for the sad day…thinking about you as always and love you!

  10. Alex on May 4, 2012 at 7:14 pm

    Sending you love… I'm sure that was a very sad moment, but you have the joy of reminders of what exactly you do have in Greyson – an amazing boy. I cried like a baby when I read your husband's comment. He's perfect!

  11. callmemama on May 4, 2012 at 11:59 pm

    Aww, I love your husband's comment. He is totally right :). You have an amazingly beautiful little boy!

  12. andmom on May 5, 2012 at 1:43 am

    It's ok to be sad. Maybe he won't get to do those things. And that sucks.But he's still amazing.

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