I’m frustrated and I need to vent.
I’m having a hard time with Saturdays lately. I think it’s because when I was teaching, Saturdays really were a day off. With this mom-gig, I don’t get a day off- ever. And that’s fine, and I know how blessed I am to have this job. But now Saturdays tend to be the days where my patience is a little less, I’m a little more tired, and a lot of times, there’s nothing to do. Saturdays are long.
Every day, I plan at least one thing for Grayson and I to do out of the house- it’s how I keep my sanity. Even if it’s something not-so-fun, like a doctor’s appointment, at least it gets us out of these four walls for a few hours.
It’s softball season- my favorite. I love this time of year-especially when there’s gorgeous weather outside and games to go watch. Ryan’s team is playing in a tournament this weekend- I can’t go to most of his softball games due to G’s bedtime, but tournament games are during the day, so we try and go to as many as we can.
Grayson took a good nap this morning and was in a pretty good mood, so we headed out for a noon game. As soon as we got to the park, the fussing started. I was trying to watch the game and entertain him at the same time- reading books, playing with toys, etc. Nothing worked. We walked around the park in the stroller, I held him and paced beside the bleachers, I bounced him on my lap. He just got more and more upset. Finally, by the 3rd inning, He was screaming, and I realized we needed to leave. I’ll admit I was pretty frustrated with him- after all, this was our ONLY plan for this very long Saturday.
We got home and I put Grayson in his crib- he was asleep almost immediately. So now I feel bad for being frustrated- he was obviously really tired.
I hate this part of Mitochondrial disease-the fatigue. G’s battery doesn’t have as much juice as normal kids and his battery runs out really quickly. I’ve been seeing this more and more. I should have been chasing him all over that ballpark today. He should be able to see his daddy coaching and cheer for his team. He should be eating junk from the concession stand instead of being tethered to his stroller by his feeding tube. It’s just not fair.
Ok, end of vent. I’m thinking maybe I should take a little nap while I have the chance!