Thirty Seven: #NaBloPoMo Day 4
November 4, 2016
A few weeks ago I turned thirty seven. What a strange age; not quite “almost forty” but far past thirty five. Technically I’ve now been an adult longer than I was a child, although really I was nowhere near an “adult” at 18. It’s a fine age to be, I guess. Meh.
Some thoughts from here, about 3/4 through my thirties:
- I’m really bad at prioritizing self care. I can self-comfort with the best of them, but as for truly taking care of myself, I’m failing. I need to do better, but gah, I’m just so tired. And have too many children who can’t stay at home by themselves (or really be in a room by themselves for any length of time).
- This election season has rocked my world and has me really unsettled. I’m questioning everything- what I personally believe and value as well as who I want to trust and take advice from
- I’m wrestling a lot with my faith and with religion. I’ve realized a lot of what I was taught and bought into as a teenager affects me to this day, and not necessarily in a good way (hello, purity culture). But through the internet as well as with in-person conversations, I realize I’m not alone, which is comforting. More on this later.
- I’m becoming bolder in speaking out about everything. As a (former/recovering/work in progress) people pleaser, I’m proud of myself. I hope that I can raise a daughter who is not afraid to speak her own opinions and risk pushback. I think maybe that’s easier to learn as a kid than in my thirties.
- It’s really, really hard to talk about myself in terms other than as a mother and how I relate to my children. But maybe that’s an upside to this sort-of identity crisis I’m having- it’s given me something else to focus on.
Happy 37 to me. It will definitely be interesting to see how this year turns out.
The best thing I’ve done so far at 37- went to vote with this guy.
I have to say that I have REALLY enjoyed your facebook posts during this election. It has been stressed out and in tears more than I'd care to admit, but even though you and I have some different beliefs and/or backgrounds, I think that your posts are very well thought out and respectfully discussed.
Happy belated birthday! I've really enjoyed you writing every day. And I'm sorry I'm not on FB to back you up. It sounds intense on social media right now! I'm in awe of how you're willing to think critically about these important issues, and have difficult conversations with yourself about your foundational beliefs. That is HARD SHIT. I also appreciate you coming here and sharing it with us. THANK YOU!