According to what I’ve seen in my facebook newsfeed the past two days, the opinion I’m about to confess is probably going to be somewhat unpopular.
When I watched that “Hardest Job in the World” fake interview video yesterday, which I saw posted probably 10 times, my first reaction was ANNOYED.
I’m annoyed because the “qualifications” described by the interviewer for the “job” don’t resemble my day at all- and I don’t want them too. I don’t necessarily think my job has to be hard every second of every day in order to do it well.
Guess what? My days are not always hard. Sometimes I eat breakfast before my kid while she’s either still sleeping or playing with her toys. Most days we eat breakfast together. This mama is NOT a martyr when it comes to food- when I’m hungry, I eat.
I also sit during the day- a lot. I sit on the floor and play blocks with Charlotte, I sit with Grayson on the couch and sing to him, and sometimes I sit and zone out on my phone while they do their own thing.
I take breaks: Grayson is at school 6 hours a day, and Charlotte naps. Sure, sometimes I clean the house while she naps, or make medical-related phone calls, but a lot of times, I just take a break.
I sleep. I have never been one to stay up late, and I’m definitely more of a morning person than a night owl. My children are both asleep most nights by 6:30, and I’m in bed by 9:00. And on the nights we have G’s nurse, I sleep through the night.
Yes, there are exasperating, terrifying, HARD moments, hours, and days of this “job”. Being Grayson’s mom is rewarding and a privilege, but it’s emotionally draining. I get little feedback from him and he can do nothing for himself. When he’s sick and in the hospital, life is tough, and sometimes scary. It’s overwhelming to think about his future, and the decisions we will eventually have to make for him. Charlotte is beginning to test my authority, and for the first time in the 3.5 years I’ve been a mom, I’m having to consider discipline. It’s challenging, and I worry about screwing it up.
However, honestly, most of the time, I really, truly ENJOY being a mom. I like my kids and I like doing things with them. I love watching Charlotte grow and do “normal” things. Watching her learn to walk the last few weeks has been absolutely thrilling- and I’m glad she’s stretched the process out. I love taking her on play dates, to lunch with her Grammie, aunt and cousin, and to the zoo with our friends. While Grayson is at school, I try and fill our days with fun outings and new experiences, none of which I consider hard. But I do consider this being a good mom.
I think the thing that made me most annoyed with that video was it made me feel like I am doing something wrong because I don’t feel that I am sacrificing EVERYTHING, including my own happiness, to be a mom. I’m doing what I’ve always wanted to do, and I enjoy it. There are parts of this job that are unpleasant, sure, but that’s part of it. I certainly don’t think I work harder than Grayson’s doctors whose expertise keep him functioning as well as he is, or his teachers who keep him engaged and happy 6 hours of the day. And I don’t consider my job harder than any other profession either, just different. But that being said, again, I don’t think they level of difficulty of a job (which, how do you measure that anyway?) truly is a measure of it’s worth.
I know I’m the best mom for MY kids because I love them and make every decision I can in their best interests. But tomorrow, I’m still going to sleep, eat, sit and take breaks when I can!
Thank you for writing this. Thank you so, so much.
Motherhood is hard. I get that. I really do. I don't think it's a bad thing to talk about how hard it is. What I do think is destructive is presenting it like this, saying that mothers are martyrs, because then mothers will think they have to be martyrs, and they will make motherhood into what these “interviews” described it as, because they think that if they aren't doing that much, they're doing it wrong. I think I need to write a post about this. But thank you for letting me know that I'm not the only one who is frustrated by this message, and thinks it's bullshit.
I was also very annoyed by it. I don't know any mom that has ever lived the way that the job is described. I was also annoyed because a few seconds into the video or even reading the ad description you knew he was talking about the position of mother hood. I find it hard to believe the people wouldn't have known pretty soon in the “interview” what was going on.
I love motherhood. I love my son. I almost always put his needs / wants ahead of my needs but I don't agree with this at all.
I am glad you posted this. I think your opinion is more popular than you think.
I didn't bother reading it for some reason, but it sounds annoying. 🙂 I sometimes let mine watch 2 hours of TV in a day so I can have a peaceful moment, or let them eat Goldfish crackers for dinner after a 30 minute argument about needing to eat, or let Paisley wear completely mismatched clothes to school to avoid confrontation. So I definitely am not close to perfect. 🙂
Amen! LOL. I was almost offended by watching it. Emotional blackmail to sell a product… that's all it was. The reason that it was so popular is that motherhood/parenthood is largely an invisible, thankless job. We can be so desperate for praise, acknowledgement, or just plain validation. But we're looking in the wrong places for it. The world might not notice my sacrifices (which are not the absurd hyperbole version shown in that almost satirical view of motherhood, ugh)… but my children notice. They might not think “hey mom hasn't slept all night, maybe I should stop crying now.” But they do know that I held them all night long and kissed their fingers. They feel it, appreciate it, and give back in their own way… and the way they give to me is so much more than I give to them!!! We all have days that are hard… but it's not like that all the time, not even most of the time. Motherhood/parenthood is so joyful and rewarding! We shouldn't try to show how miserable we are in order to feel important. It's too magical and too brief of a period to squander with that sort of nonsense. Motherhood is sometimes difficult and challenging, but show me anything worth having that isn't. It is also joyful and amazing, and we should cherish it. Anyway, off my high horse now. LOL.