Thank you so much for your comments on my last post- your encouragement means so much to me and I have reread them so many times and they truly have lifted me up.
I am doing better. I’m officially in the second trimester and like magic, I am feeling SO much better. I’m still tired and hungry all the time, but I will take that over nausea and puking. (I’m hoping I didn’t just jinx myself by writing this).
And, not surprisingly, feeling better physically really has changed my outlook on everything else. Grayson’s difficult phase doesn’t seem so unbearable, and I find myself more excited than anxious about his little brother or sister most of the time.
Another thing that was bothering me was the amount of hours we have nursing care. I do not in any way want to seem ungrateful for the help I have now. It is so nice having the freedom to work, run errands, or just rest without having to worry about childcare. Our nurse is great, but I was and still am, having a hard time adjusting to not being with Grayson all day every day like I have for almost 2 years. I got a call last week from our agency informing me that we qualify for even more hours than we have right now. I really do not want someone in my house 60 hours/week. I am a stay at home mom because I choose to be- I want to be the primary caretaker of my children. Yes, I need a break, and yes, I admit I need help, but not that much. I also do not want someone different taking care of G each week (as we’ve had the past 3 Sundays)- I don’t think it’s good for him at all. So today I talked to our nurse and am going to try and work it out so she works 2 days during the week and the weekends. We won’t have anyone Sunday mornings (because our nurse goes to church) but I was missing bringing G to church with us anyway. I’m hesitant to reduce our hours too much though, because I know when the baby arrives, I will need all the help I can get!
Grayson is doing a little bit better too. The past few days, he’s taken decent naps (1-2 hours) and yesterday and today he slept until almost 7 am. He’s still waking up at least once a night crying, which I can’t figure out. Last night he cried and cried and when I went to pick him up, it was obvious he wasn’t awake. His body was thrashing and he just kept crying. Night terror? Seizure? I am planning on changing some things to try and make the sleeping thing better: blackout curtains for the nursery, a louder sound machine, sleep sack and weighted blanket. Any other suggestions?
The genetic results are finally in! The lab will not release them to us and G’s Mito specialist is still on maternity leave and won’t release them until she reviews them, so I called G’s neurologist and begged for an appointment sooner than our August 27 scheduled one. They squeezed us in tomorrow, so hopefully we will get lots of useful information! In addition to the results, I have a long list of questions and concerns for him, especially since we still haven’t talked to a doctor about the MRI and spinal tap he had in May.
Hoping to have a big update tomorrow!