The Kind of Parent I Wanted/Want to Be

This month, the PAIL theme post is What Kind of Parent Do You Want to Be?

Before I had Grayson, I certainly had a picture in my mind of what my life as a mom was going to look like. I had certain ideas and expectations of how my children were going to develop and behave. And just like any parent, when my child popped out, so many of those ideas morphed into the reality that is having a living, breathing being who develops and behaves independently of his parents’ expectations.

And now. Now I will share my Before Grayson (BG) ideas and compare them to the After Grayson (AG) reality.

BG: My children will watch little to no television.
AG: Grayson watches no TV. But not because I’m opposed to it. He can’t see more than a few feet in front of him, so he’s not interested in it at all.  Honestly, I would give my right kidney if I could plop G in front of the tube for an hour (or more, because I’m being honest) to give me a break.

BG: I will breastfeed for a year then feed him homemade, organic food.
AG: Ha! (I don’t think I need to write about this one for the ten-millionth time. The horse is dead. Dead, dead, dead).

BG: I will read books to my baby every chance I get and I will turn him into A+ making, AP classes taking, honors student
AG: We are still in the books are more fun to eat than read stage. And school? I care A LOT about what schools he will go to and the quality of his education, but grades? I’m not sure they are going to be too high on the priority list when it comes to Mr. G.

BG: I won’t email G’s teachers and complain about what’s happening at school. And I won’t raise the type of kid who never has a pencil in math class.
AG: I will do whatever I have to do and piss off whoever I have to piss off to protect my kid and give him the best. But I will always make sure he has a pencil in his backpack. (Math teachers have a hard enough time)

BG: We will have 2 biological kids, 2-3 years apart, and then adopt a little girl from China
AG: I really, really, really hope we can make Grayson a big brother someday, and I really, really, really want to be pregnant again (someday, not now). But now we have those pesky genetic DNA  mutations to worry about. Good times!

BG: (this is a hard confession, and if you judge me, I understand). I want smart, athletic kids. I want to be a baseball/softball mom who brags about her kids’ report cards.
AG: God has completely transformed my heart on this one. Now? I want my kids to be happy, and kind. And I want them to learn how to be a good friend. If they are smart- great. Athletic- great. But if not- great.  And also- I now love, love, love special needs kiddos (not just my own) and their mommas. What a special group of people we are privileged to be a part of.

I’m sure I could go on and on, and as the years go by, this list will grow. Right now I’m just doing the best I can with what I know, and trying not to make too many “My child will never….” statements. However, if I have a daughter someday, she will never be involved in anything that even remotely resembles Toddlers and Tiaras, k? Hold me to that one.


  1. Traci on April 15, 2012 at 1:47 am

    OK, so I was about to cry until your last comment. Don't worry, I will NOT let you be a pageant mom. ha!

  2. andmom on April 15, 2012 at 1:58 am

    No Toddlers and Tiaras! I had such visions of what motherhood would be like. All the things we'd do during the day. And then I got twins – and it was literally all I could do to keep everyone fed and moderately not unhappy. Somedays it *still* feels like that.You're doing a great job with what you've got!

  3. basebell6 on April 15, 2012 at 2:27 am

    LOL! loooove this post!! so many mentionable parts but definitely love the one about the pencils in math class. 😉

  4. Erin on April 15, 2012 at 2:35 am

    Lovely post and so true…we all had ideas and then reality struck…it's a whole different ball game for sure!!

  5. allthesunforyou on April 15, 2012 at 3:09 am

    I was thinking of you as I wrote my post, because I figured you'd be in the same situation (doing things differently than you ever planned) but for different reasons.You are such a great mom!

  6. Amber on April 15, 2012 at 3:26 am

    I have SO many times thought about the things I used to think about parenting and how different I feel now. We do the best with what we're given. Paisley DESPISES high chairs and doesn't like to eat. I've given up on structured meals and let her graze on food while playing. She watches about 2 hours of TV a day which I love because it is my down time. And no- she will never be a pageant girl!

  7. Coco on April 15, 2012 at 3:59 am

    Love this post!!! And, like everyone else, the pageant mom comment made me snort with laughter. 🙂 Awesome. *hugs*

  8. AL on April 15, 2012 at 4:43 pm

    Great post! I still need to do my PAIL post, this parenting is TOUGH for me to write about. I have no clue if I'm doing it right.Totally agree on the no girls in pageants! Girl, I will drive to TX and take your baby girl out of them if I have to 😛

  9. lifebytheday on April 17, 2012 at 3:42 pm

    Here from PAIL – so nice to "meet" you and learn about your journey. Hope today is going better for you! 🙂

  10. Alex on April 17, 2012 at 4:37 pm

    Great post! It's amazing how we have expectations of how are lives will be, and then we get a curveball. The good ones are those that adjust quickly… Looks like you're a very good one!

  11. Becky on April 18, 2012 at 2:18 pm

    I love your honesty! And you cracked me up 😉

  12. J.o.s.e.y on April 18, 2012 at 11:07 pm

    Such an honest post. 🙂 You're obviously a great Mom!!!

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