This month, the PAIL theme post is What Kind of Parent Do You Want to Be?

Before I had Grayson, I certainly had a picture in my mind of what my life as a mom was going to look like. I had certain ideas and expectations of how my children were going to develop and behave. And just like any parent, when my child popped out, so many of those ideas morphed into the reality that is having a living, breathing being who develops and behaves independently of his parents’ expectations.

And now. Now I will share my Before Grayson (BG) ideas and compare them to the After Grayson (AG) reality.

BG: My children will watch little to no television.
AG: Grayson watches no TV. But not because I’m opposed to it. He can’t see more than a few feet in front of him, so he’s not interested in it at all.  Honestly, I would give my right kidney if I could plop G in front of the tube for an hour (or more, because I’m being honest) to give me a break.

BG: I will breastfeed for a year then feed him homemade, organic food.
AG: Ha! (I don’t think I need to write about this one for the ten-millionth time. The horse is dead. Dead, dead, dead).

BG: I will read books to my baby every chance I get and I will turn him into A+ making, AP classes taking, honors student
AG: We are still in the books are more fun to eat than read stage. And school? I care A LOT about what schools he will go to and the quality of his education, but grades? I’m not sure they are going to be too high on the priority list when it comes to Mr. G.

BG: I won’t email G’s teachers and complain about what’s happening at school. And I won’t raise the type of kid who never has a pencil in math class.
AG: I will do whatever I have to do and piss off whoever I have to piss off to protect my kid and give him the best. But I will always make sure he has a pencil in his backpack. (Math teachers have a hard enough time)

BG: We will have 2 biological kids, 2-3 years apart, and then adopt a little girl from China
AG: I really, really, really hope we can make Grayson a big brother someday, and I really, really, really want to be pregnant again (someday, not now). But now we have those pesky genetic DNA  mutations to worry about. Good times!

BG: (this is a hard confession, and if you judge me, I understand). I want smart, athletic kids. I want to be a baseball/softball mom who brags about her kids’ report cards.
AG: God has completely transformed my heart on this one. Now? I want my kids to be happy, and kind. And I want them to learn how to be a good friend. If they are smart- great. Athletic- great. But if not- great.  And also- I now love, love, love special needs kiddos (not just my own) and their mommas. What a special group of people we are privileged to be a part of.

I’m sure I could go on and on, and as the years go by, this list will grow. Right now I’m just doing the best I can with what I know, and trying not to make too many “My child will never….” statements. However, if I have a daughter someday, she will never be involved in anything that even remotely resembles Toddlers and Tiaras, k? Hold me to that one.