I’ve been loving my new keep-the-house-clean routine. It’s amazing how doing a little each day makes such a huge difference. Although admittedly I’m spending a lot more time cleaning, I am so much more relaxed and am enjoying being at home so much more. I’m really hoping if I keep this up, it will become  a habit and I won’t consider myself such a terrible housekeeper anymore.

I’ve been slowly cleaning out/decluttering specific areas in the house. So far I’ve done the pantry, laundry room, and medicine drawer. And yesterday, I cleaned out the cabinet where I kept all the baby bottles. All those bottles, and millions of little parts that go to the Dr. Brown’s brand, were sorted, bagged and put into storage (well, storage being the corner of the spare bedroom until I can really figure out a good place to put them). And doing that made me cry.

Being done with bottles was supposed to be a thing. A thing like potty training, or moving to a big-kid bed. A transition. Grayson and I didn’t get that transition. His bottle feeding days ended suddenly and dramatically. There was no transition, no weaning. And I realized his last bottle wasn’t given to him by me. I should have been able to give him his last bottle snuggled up in the rocking chair in his nursery. But instead, it was given by my friend, who was babysitting, and was vomited up violently before we took him to the ER.

And it is kind of funny that I’m so sad about those bottles, because having to bottle feed was such a source of pain and raw emotion such a very short time ago.

I know there will be other things like this, things that won’t get to be things. One day he’ll abruptly refuse to wear smocked outfits, or won’t fit in footie pajamas anymore. He might even  decide that bedtime should be after the sun goes down and not before. One day he won’t be a baby anymore.

Today we had a really, really good day. There was a period of about 30 minutes where we lay on the floor and giggled. Giggled our heads off, both of us. No toys, no phone, no cameras. I wanted to capture the moment on camera, to record that infectious laugh, but I resisted the urge. Somehow I knew the magic of that moment would be broken if I tried to bottle it up electronically. Moments like these are my things

So the good news is I now have a free cabinet. Well, a cabinet that is now full of sippy cups. I wonder when I’ll form an attachment to those?


  1. Lee, Michelle, Cooper 4 and Allie 3 on January 20, 2012 at 4:04 am

    you are so cute!

  2. Sarah on January 20, 2012 at 4:16 am

    You won't. Sippy cups are things to be reviled. Even worse than bottles to break apart and clean and (ugh!) put back together. Although the Dr. Brown's bottles are pretty close! I'm so sorry you were rushed past that transition. No part of babyhood should be rushed. I'm so glad that you were able to mourn it though, and have a wonderful day!

  3. Erin on January 20, 2012 at 11:31 am

    So happy that you had a happy day. What fun to sit and laugh and enjoy the moment, it is a fine line between being in the moment and wanting to preserve it, but you are right, sometimes I know that if I move one inch, the moment will be over, so I just sit and imprint it in my memory. As you know, I still have tiny dresses that I can't part with that make me cry, you just love them so much, and they are growing at a rapid pace…its aok to be sentimental!

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