We spent Easter weekend at the ranch. The weather was perfect: warm, but not intensely hot like it will surely be in a few months. The wildflowers were blooming, dotting the green acres with bursts of color. And she is finally walking, and for the first time got to experience dandelions and dirty knees and hands from hours spent outside.

She’s still unsure of her feet on the uneven terrain, and we walked hand in hand most of the weekend. But I know that won’t be for long; I imagine her in the years to come- running through these fields, riding her bike down the hills, collecting frogs, bugs and wildflowers. An idyllic childhood- this is what I want for her.

The potential of her life is boundless; she can make nearly anything of herself in the years ahead.

I desperately want the same things for him; I want him to be able to stand in the sun, to let go of my hand and run through the fields. To realize there is so much more to love and discover about life than the same toys and songs over and over.

It’s a difficult journey for sure: to love and parent two children with the same intensity and passion, yet with such different expectations and outcomes. One who has such potential and measurable progress- I truly feel like I witness little miracles every day watching her learn and grow. And the other, whose life seems stuck on repeat, and yet, is still so, so precious.

And yet, I’m thankful for this journey.