I know, I know. It’s coming. We will need to baby proof the house. Put locks on the cabinets, pick up anything breakable in the reach of little hands, cover sharp corners. Yeah, yeah, yeah- EASY. The real challenge comes almost every day when we leave our 100 pound beast in the house while we leave to go somewhere.

Hank the bloodhound- rugged, manly, smart, SPOILED. Who in their right mind would keep a bloodhound in the house? Um, us. He’s our (big) baby, and likes to be inside with his family. Why don’t we leave him outside when we leave? Several reasons: he is LOUD and we don’t want grumpy neighbors, we don’t want him digging up our lawn if he gets bored, and we don’t want to risk him getting out and losing him. We would be devastated if anything happened to him.

So, we Hank-Proof. We pick up anything that could be remotely interesting to chew up or rip apart. We make sure all food is off the counter. We close all doors so he’s contained to the living area and isn’t tempted by the giant water bowl toilet. We aren’t always successful.

• Valentines Day 2008- Ryan bought me Oakley sunglasses. We left them on the hallway table and went to dinner. We came home to the glasses in a million itty-bitty pieces on the doormat. Tears. Screams. Forgiveness.

• Fall 2007- Hank got bored and chewed the corner of the expensive armoire. Anger. Screams. Forgiveness. Now we just tell ourselves we are going for the “distressed” look with our furniture.

• 4th of July 2010- Enough styrofoam plates, bowls and cups for a party of 30. In a billion itty-bitty pieces  when we got home from church. Looked like a snowstorm in the middle of July. Screams. A little bit of laughter. Eye rolls. Forgiveness.

• November 2010- BRAND NEW $22 can of formula left on the counter (baby formula- really Hank?). Gone. Post-partum, emotional, sleep deprived TEARS. No screams because I have a sleeping baby. Almost strangled, banished to the backyard for a few hours bloodhound. Eventual forgiveness.

• Slobber- it’s everywhere. Hank comes in the house with foot long strings hanging from his jowls or flung over his big ol’ nose. If we can catch it in time, we clean it up. More often than not, it ends up on the walls, on the couch, or even on the TV. We decorate in it. We are repainting the house and I need to find a color that complements the slobber on the walls. Good luck right?

• Hair- it’s everywhere, and it sticks to everything. Good thing we have a Dyson- that thing is amazing!